Wednesday, January 25, 2012

"Reborn" by Furkan Gumus

http://www.kerpoof.com/#/view?s=2gs11buQa0o5cjc45M00-d-5e3171-x

2 comments:

tunchan sukur said...

Furkan,you can use better verbs to define the feelings of the characters in your story. For example, you can write ""feel relax" instead of stay relax".

Hanifi Caliskan said...

hi furkan, firstly I am very happy to read your second story.. :) I liked your character because it is also my favourite animation character of my childhood. So I enjoyed while reading. But you have some grammatical mistakes. You have written " he who have never feel". Grammatically, you must write "he who has never felt". Also, you should be careful in the use of simple present tense.If you correct your such kind of mistakes, your next story will be wonderful.